


The XX Effect

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending, M/M, Sexual Content, Slash, girl!McCoy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-17 21:09:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones wakes up to find himself turned into a woman, from there things just go down hill. How is he meant to adjust to all the changes he faces, will he ever get his manly body back and how will this affect his relationship with Jim?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The XX Effect

The body lying across the bed was not the body Jim expected upon entering Bones’ room. The fact that Bones had a woman in his bed wasn’t the immediate surprise; the immediate surprise was that Jim didn’t recognise that woman as a member of his crew and they hadn’t been docked anywhere in over two weeks. None of this made much sense. How had Bones managed to store a stowaway? And more importantly _why_ hadn’t he told Jim that he was seeing someone?

“Bones!” Jim hissed. Jim quietly crossed the room to see if his CMO was perhaps in the bathroom, but the door swung open and Jim stared blankly into the empty room. The beta shift didn’t start for another hour or so and thus it would be insane to think Bones would be anywhere but his quarters. If nothing else Bones was a creature of habit. The CMO should be up and ready to go to the mess with Jim for breakfast but instead he was nowhere to be found and there was some strange woman in his bed.

Jim noticed the half empty bottle of Bourbon on the bedside cabinet. Sure, that would be a reason for Bones to _oversleep_ but not _go missing_. The body on the bed stirred. She carded her long fingers through her hair and made a gruff sound of annoyance. Jim suddenly felt slightly awkward, standing there watching her sleep. Of course that _wasn’t_ what he was doing, but it was sure what it looked like. The woman was lying face down wearing what Jim knew to be Bones’ white Ole Miss’ t-shirt. And sure enough when she rolled onto her back the faded red writing came into view, the t-shirt slightly tight across her ample breasts but otherwise absolutely drowning her lean frame. She cracked open one eye in a very familiar, almost Bones-esque move.

“Dammit Jim.” She rubbed the sleep out of her eye with the ball of her palm. “’ats the time?”

Jim knew that accent, softer now and a pitch or two higher but unmistakably southern and unmistakably _Bones_.

“Bones?”

“What, kid?”

“I think maybe you should take a look in the mirror Bones.” Jim said slowly, eyes wide.

“Are you drunk Jim? Beta starts in like-” She lifted her head off the pillow to look at the chrono on the wall. “Shit.” She jumped from the bed like she’d been electrocuted, heading for the bathroom. “I have to be in sickbay in an hour and you stood there watching me sleeping like some kind of-”, the scream that followed was unlike anything Jim had ever heard from, _or caused in_ , any woman in all his life.

“Told you you needed to look in the mirror.” Jim said, rather smugly – if he did say so himself.

“I need to get to medical _now_!” Bones’ eyes were as wide as the day he stepped foot on that shuttle in Iowa and Jim didn’t fancy standing in the way of Bones when his eyes were doing _that_ kind of psychotic dance. Even if Bones was now about four or five inches smaller than he normally was.

“I’ll comm Chapel to let her know what to expect.” Jim followed him out of his quarters and down the halls. The other crew members seemed oblivious to the fact that Bones was now a woman, but Chapel was ready with her tricorder and a privacy screen when her CMO finally made it to sickbay. She hadn’t believed it when the Captain had informed her “Bones has taken a slight turn in gender and he’s freaking the fuck out.” But now… Well now it was clear that yes, Doctor McCoy was, by some unknown cause, female and yes, he – or she? – was _freaking the fuck out_.

“Chapel, run bloods and get one of the private examination rooms ready for a full DNA obs. I want to know where the source of the, the _change_ , is and I want to know how to reverse it. Like yesterday.” Bones was taking another set of tricorder readings because the first seemed to suggest that this wasn’t just some temporary infection or chemical reaction but that he was now in possession of two X chromosomes.

“Don’t look so worried Bones, you make a beautiful woman.” Jim said, slapping his shoulder in that oh-so familiar way. Except apparently female Bones was slightly less sturdy and it ended up looking more like a shove then a friendly, supportive pat.

“Dammit Jim, this isn’t a joke. This is… This is- I don’t know what this is and I don’t like it!” Bones grouched. It was understandable really.

“Doctor?” Chapel scurried back out of one of the store rooms. “I er… I think you’d agree that your scrubs might be slightly... ah, ill fitting? Here are some of mine. Your hips look narrower than mine but not by much.” She tentatively handed her well folded blue scrubs to Bones. “You’ll have to go down to storage to get your uniform.”

“I can assure you it’s not the Captain’s prime concern right now, Nurse Chapel.” Jim said softly, turning a cautious gaze to Bones.

“Of course not Captain.” Christine smiled.

“Jim you’re going to need to get to the bridge, you’re already five minutes late.”

 

 

 

…

All of twenty minutes later Jim returned to the downturned shutters of Bones’ office. He knocked once and entered before Bones groan of protestation. “Spock’s got the conn.”

“That really wasn’t necessary Jim, you can’t flee the bridge just because I’m having some sort of... of bodily crisis.” Bones slightly lifted his head from the protection of his hands to reply and Jim caught the flash of hazel eyes.

“The resemblance really is uncanny.” Jim offered, not sure what he was hoping to gain.

“Hmpf.” Was Bones’ only response as he laid his forehead flat against his desk.

“I brought you up two sets of uniform, but er-, well we’re on course for a starbase where you can get whatever else you need. Only Spock knows the exact nature of… well this. I thought maybe we should call a meeting this evening just between the senior members of crew.” Jim stopped and huffed. “Bones are you even list-”

“Yes, Jim. Fine, whatever you think. Just try and keep your crew out of my sickbay okay, I don’t need to be patching up there fool head asses all day. I’ve got enough to keep me busy.” Bones grumbled.

“Looking at the grain of the desk? Cause I hate to break it to you, it’s not real wood Bones.” Jim said, trying to be chipper.

“Don’t you have some other poor soul to bother?” Bones looked up from the desk, straightened his spine and pulled a file across the desk. He paused, looking of the results.

“You finally acquired a file of your own, eh?” Jim laughed.

“Yeah, and it’s still not half as fat as yours and I switched genders.” Bones smirked.

“Hey now, play nice Bonesy.”

“Don’t you Bonesy me.” Bones’ brow furrowed. _Nothing much changes_ , Jim thought. “What am I going to do Jim? This isn’t some alien mumbo jumbo that we can just order them to reverse, there’re no chemicals in my blood… Every test just comes back conclusive. Conclusively _female_ that is! And I just- I don’t understand... I’ve seen a lot of shit Jim.”

“We’ll fix it. If anyone can reverse this it’s you. Don’t you feel kind of lucky to be in your own hands?” Jim smirked.

“If that is meant to be some half asses attempt at an innuendo...” Bones warned. “I’ve never really specialised with genetics, vaccines yeah, sure… I’m you man. Well. _Anyway._ And neurology, great, brilliant, _that_ I can handle. But I don’t know that I _am_ the person to fix this. If it can be fixed. We’ve never come close to changing the sex of a being once it’s become a foetus, some species can, of course. But not humanoid species. It doesn’t make sense Jim. If it weren’t for the weird looks you and Christine keep giving me I’d have convinced myself I was female from the start and had merely suffered some kind of mental break.” Jim couldn’t help but pity the note of helplessness in Bones’ voice.

“We’ll be docked for two weeks, Scotty and I have discussed doing some work to the ship, I know you’re not going to want to wallow in your room for the next seventeen hours, no matter how much I think you deserve it but M’Benga’s going to make an appearance for the end of beta just in case you want to focus on this.” Jim explained.

“You don’t have to pander to me kid.”

“So you’ve said.” Jim smiled.

“I’m going to trawl through some genetic medical journal, see if anything like this has been synthesised before and see if I can track down my lost Y.” Bones sighed, already defeated.

“Well if the worst comes to the worst, this double X thing kind of suits you.” Jim smirked, ducking out of the room just in time to miss the PADD thrown his way.

 

 

 

…

The collective intake of breath when Bones entered the ready room for that evening’s meeting was expected but the slightly humoured smirk that Uhura adopted was definitely not. 

“Don’t you dare laugh at me.” Bones huffed, taking his usual seat across from Spock, whose only show of acknowledgement was a fraction eyebrow raise.

“Fascinating.” He murmured.

“Zip it, pointy.” Bones grouched.

“The uniform looks very nice Leonard.” Scotty grinned but it only makes Bones more self-conscious and so he pulled at the hem of his blue dress, trying to cover more thigh but failing.

“How do you wear these all the time?” Bones asked Uhura.

“I’ve actually found them rather comfy.” Uhura smirked.

“Unbelievable.” Bones sighed. “I’m not going to get an ounce of sympathy from you, am I?”

“I’m sorry, Leonard.”  Uhura had the good grace to look abashed. “I really am.”

“You’re far too pretty to be a Leonard.” Jim said with a wink, taking his seat at the head of the conference table. “Look, obviously what’s happened to Bones is more than a little unfortunate but what we need to focus on is helping him… or her–” He stopped himself before asking, in all misguided seriousness: “Which would you prefer?”

“Him, Jim, I’m still a man. You know, mentally at least.” Bones gritted out.

“Yeah but it’s kind of weird, you know saying him now that you’re all…” And Jim gestured long hair by haphazardly waving his arms about and then cupping the air in front of his chest.

“Do not make me maim you.” Bones warned. “And Starfleet protocol mandates that all individuals, humanoid or otherwise have the right to dictate their own gender, extending to but not limited to, preferred gender pronouns.” And he huffs for emphasis, trying to at least _sound_ manly but failing.

“Right.” Jim nodded with a soft smile. “We’re going to do everything in our power to get Bones back in his preferred body and but until then we need to do our best to help him adjust, so no dress jokes Scotty.”

“Aye, sir. Sorry Leonard.” Scotty added, placing a comforting hand over his skinny forearm.

“Leonard, would you perhaps mind if I analysed your test results?” Spock asked.

“Don’t see what good it’ll do, but it can’t do any more harm so I s’pose so.” Bones nodded.

“Right well, that was really the point of this little get together so ah, you’re free to do whatever it is you all get up to on your off time, we’ve got a double shift off seeing as though we’ll be docking in the starbase halfway through tomorrows alpha shift, those currently on gamma will cover it.” Jim explained as everyone files out of the ready room.

“I’ll be glad to get off this tin can.” Bones said. “Chapel’s offered to take me shopping.”

“That bra _is_ slightly ill fitting.” And then Jim paused, blushing slightly. “I mean _you_ have a _great_ rack and Chapel is, well I mean, you know, not that I’ve been looking at her.”

“But you’ve been looking at me?” Bones asked, slightly amused at Jim’s floundering.

“No, well, I mean it’s only natural, I guess I did, this morning. I didn’t even know it was you I thought you had a stowaway sex slave.” Jim admitted, voice pitched a level or two higher and sounding ludicrous. Bones barked out a laugh before shoving at Jim and murmuring _sex slave, unbelievable._

 

 

 

…

Jim doesn’t see Bones for the first day after they’ve landed in San Francisco. He’d dropped Bones off at his apartment and then headed home for a quiet night to himself, he had had every intention of going out and hopefully bringing himself back a lady or two but now women sort of made him think of Bones and wasn’t that a strange thing? When he’d commed Bones the next morning he’d been informed that Chapel was commandeering him for his shopping trip _today_ but that they should meet later for dinner. _At my apartment_ was Bones suggestion, more of a condition actually, but who could blame him?

Jim turns up with a bottle of Bones’ favourite bourbon but almost drops it when he sees Bones’ open the door. Bones is only wearing a white vest and a thin navy zipper and some soft white cotton pyjama pants but he looks, well stunning. The dainty smile on his face is unsettling, as is the light makeup around the familiar hazel eyes and just the entire delicateness of the body that has looked so awkward over the last two days.

“Hey, Jim.” Bones greets, stepping out of the way of the door frame, there’s a spoon in one hand and a tub of ice-cream in the other. “I’m not fulfilling any single woman stereotypes but this stuff tastes really good now, I mean _really good_.”

“Good to know something positive has come out of this experience.” Jim grins. “Bourbon?” Jim holds up the bottle.

“Not all that much has changed.” Bones huffs. “I still want my bourbon.” He pulls two glasses out of the cabinet, necking the first glass quickly before pouring another. Then he offers the spoon to Jim. “You want?” He asks.

“No, you’re okay.” Jim laughs.

“I did actually make dinner too, I made Andorian beef, is that alright?” He asks, getting two plates from a different cupboard and then collecting a few other items for various points around the kitchen.

“Sounds great.” Jim nods. “You want a hand with that?”

“I’m a woman, Jim, not an invalid.” Bones grouches, stepping on his tiptoes to reach the pepper which some inconsiderate idiot has put at the top of the spice rack.

“A woman, are you?” Jim questions.

“Oh shut up, infant.” Bones huffs. “Just, shoo!” Bones adds, flicking Jim away with his now slender, feminine fingers. When Bones finally sets the plates on the table, along with the pepper, because he is _not_ an invalid, _goddammit_ , Jim is greeted with the familiar smell of Bones’ fabulous cooking. They chatter like always now and Jim is glad to see that Bones was right: not all that much _has_ changed, and it’s a comforting thought. Bones is on his fourth glass of bourbon and halfway through his plate when he pushes it away.

“It physically hurts to eat. How did I ever eat so much?” He grouches.

“You were like five foot bigger _and_ you’ve already eaten half a tub of ice cream.” Jim adds.

“It wasn’t half the tub, it was more like five spoonfuls.” Bones pouts. “You want more booze?”

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Bonesy?” Jim smirks, holding out his glass and watches as it’s filled with amber liquid.

“Please you can manage that just fine on your own.” Bones grins.

“You found anything else to be thankful for now that you’re all feminine?” Jim asks and Bones doesn’t grouch about being labelled feminine, no he does not.

“Shaved legs are alright too.” Bones shrugs. “They feel nice against cotton.”

“I’m almost jealous.” Jim laughs, noting the blush settling on Bones’ neck and quietly realising he must have less alcohol tolerance in a woman’s body. “I _am_ jealous of the multiple orgasm thing though.”

“Jim!” Bones scowls. “We’re at the dinner table.”

“And you’re such a Southern Belle, drinking bourbon from the bottle almost.” Jim jibes.

“Shut it.” Bones huffs.

 “Are you really not going to swap stories?” Jim asks, mildly disappointed.

“There are no stories.” Bones huffs before tucking one leg under his body and pouring more bourbon.

“You’ve been in possession of a clitoris for nearly three days and you’re telling me there are no stories?” Jim tuts. “I’m disappointed in you, Bones.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Bones blushes.

“S’not like we’ve never swapped stories before.” Jim shrugs. “Didn’t think this would be different.”

“Jim Kirk you will not emotionally manipulate me into telling you about my female masturbatory experiences.” Bones huffs, taking another gulp of bourbon.

“So there _are_ experiences then? And experience _s,_ so we're talking plural.” Jim’s eyes glint.

“Go away, Jim.” Bones laughs. “You want peach cobbler?”

“Sure. And some of that ice cream.” Jim yells when Bones is back in the kitchen.

“You can stay away from my ice cream.” Bones yells back, but upon inspection Jim’s cobbler does indeed have the requested dollop of ice cream alongside it and thus he finds little to complain about.

“Besides we can’t swap stories when I’ve already heard all of yours.” Bones huffs, sitting back down opposite Jim with the ice cream tub, sans cobbler.

“But I’d tell you if I had any new ones.” Jim says earnestly.

“Damn right you would, not that that’s necessarily a good thing.” Bones smirks. “Anyway, ah, Christine’s set me up on a date with one of Roger’s friends.” Bones says casually.

“Is that why you’re drinking so much?” Jim says, nonplussed.

“It’s a guy.” Bones clarifies and then shrugs.

“Oh?” Jim frowns. “I didn’t think you, ah, sailed that ship. I was sorta hoping for a lesbian holovid.”

“Keep your fool head outta the gutter would you.” Bones huffs. “He’s just escorting me to that gala thing tomorrow night; it’s not a marriage proposal.”

“I would have taken you.” Jim says.

“You’re going with Janice, you ass.” Bones grins then. “Christine says she’s met him a few times and he’s very nice.”

“I’m sure you guys will have a great time, although you’d have thought she might try and hook you up with a lady.” Jim says, a serious note to his voice that let’s Bones knows he’s not letting the fact they completely bypassed the ship sailing discrepancy go.

“I’ve been with a guy or two before.” Bones shrugs. “Med school’s wild like that.” Then he lets a drunk giggle slipped out which is promptly followed by a hiccup.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you giggle.” Jim smirks. “How comes you never said you were into guys before?”

“It never came up I guess.” Bones shrugs; his shoulder’s dainty, especially now that one side of the hoody has fallen down his arm and exposes the newly slender frame, only lightly muscled where Bones once had a bulk of well-earned muscle. They stare at each other for a moment, just blinking. And then Bones puts the ice cream lid back on the carton and the bourbon cap back on the bourbon. “The orgasms _are_ good.” He slurs, he says it as if he’s considering something and Jim laughs, Bones actually looks quite smug. “But then I’ve always been rather good with my hands.”

“Bones!” Jim gasps in mock horror. “Where _are_ your manners?”  

“Oh pish.” Bones huffs and then his eyes widen. “Oh God I sound like my mother.” He says gravelly and Jim cannot help the howl of laughter that rumbles up from his chest, because he’s right, he _does_ sound like his mother. Bones lies his head down on the table and huffs, freshly developed bangs fluffing up from the force of breath.

“Maybe you should go to bed, Bonesy.” Jim says, pulling him up gently by the shoulders and turning him in the direction of the bedroom. “I’ll see myself out.”

“Mmm, you sure?” Bones blinks up at Jim, brightness of his hazel eyes undercut by sleepiness, Jim just smiles and nods. “Thanks, Jim.”

“S’alright, I’ll see you tomorrow. What time are you meeting your date?”

“He’s picking me up at six.” Bones says. “I’ll see you about seven.”

“See you then.” Jim says departing with a kiss to his cheek, leaving Bones standing at the entrance of his bedroom blushing and mildly surprised.

 

 

 

…

Ellis Garner is the sort of man that would make any mother gush. He is courteous, fiercely intelligent and rather dashing in a classic, Old-Hollywood sort of way. Bones has never really been date-nervous; the doctor always had this quiet confidence with women, which may or may not have come from stitching people up _all the damn_ time allowing him to manifest some sort of sureness that he had things under control. But now, and as much as he hated to admit it, he is completely lacking in the control department and he flailing slightly. When Ellis first arrived Bones busied himself with making coffee and delivering small talk but his nerves, and complete discomfort in this _thing_ Christine called a dress, is clearly showing. Ellis smiles reassuringly and rubs his palm over Bones’ bare shoulder, offering him a slight squeeze.

“I know I can’t imagine how strange this is for you, and I’m not sure whether it’ll be much comfort, but you do look wonderful tonight.” He says and Bones looks down in that coy, coquettish way his mother had always encouraged in the local debutants. He doesn’t mean to but Ellis is being a real gentleman and it’s backing Bones into the _Lady_ corner and he realises belatedly that it might not be the worst thing. He’s not going to be a woman forever, hopefully, so maybe he should have some fun with it. Jim sure would.

“Thank you. The last few days have been… well, _strange_ is a good word.” Bones smiles. “Would you like more coffee or should we be on our way?”

 

 

 

…

They agreed on more coffee, the coffee made Bones more relaxed and then the conversation seemed to just flow. But the flow made them late. And Jim didn’t seem too impressed when they finally arrived at twenty to eight instead of half six. No one else seemed to notice seeing as though it was quite a fluid gala with so many people about that no one was really keeping track of the various comings and goings.

“Ellis this is Jim, Jim Kirk, Jim, Ellis Garner.” Bones introduces.

“It’s great to meet you Jim, Leo’s spoken very fondly of you.” Ellis extends his hand and the two men shake.

“Don’t tell him that, his ego’s big enough as it is.” Bones smirks at Jim who pouts.

“You love my big ego.” Jim smirks.

“Jim.” Bones hisses because Ellis is looking between them strangely.

“What’re you drinking?” Ellis asks, taking Bones gently by the elbow.

“Southern Comfort and lemonade.” Bones smiles. “Please.” He adds with a gentle gaze.

“Southern Comfort?” Jim questions once Ellis is safely out of earshot.

“Yeah, my womanly metabolism is screaming at me to stay away from bourbon. I don’t remember anything after the fifth glass.” Bones admits, slightly sheepish. “Southern Comfort is sweet. Like iced tea. I like iced tea.” He shrugs.

“Well your womanly figure looks great in that dress.” Jim says with only a hint of leer and then they both laugh.

“Thanks.” Bones says. “Apparently the white compliments my tanned skin.” His says as if reciting some trite poem. The dress is a white cocktail number; it extends just above the knee and is strapless, with Bones’ newly acquired cleavage presented quite nicely by the sweetheart neckline.

“Ellis tell you that?” Jim asks, a tightness to his tone.

“No, Christine says so, something about being jealous ‘cause she’s so milky. I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Why?”

“No reason. Christine is milky, but a good milky.” Jim notes.

“Stay away from my head nurse.” Bones warns.

“Jealous, Bonesy?” Jim teases.

“Oh, yes, so deeply my heart aches.” Bones huffs.

“Hello Leo, Jim.” Christine says stepping up beside the two men, Roger in toe.

“Wow, McCoy.” Roger says, eyes not sure whether to bulge or not.

“You do look wonderful, I can’t believe you managed to make something of your hair.” Christine laughs gently.

“What was wrong with my hair?” Leo pouts, currently it’s mostly pulled up into a loose up-do, a few well manufactured curls unfastened to frame his face.

“Nothing Leo, there’s just a lot of it and I wasn’t sure you’d be able to pull anything together. Surgeon’s hands I guess.” Christine grins. “Very talented.”

“I do love you Christine.” Jim smiles.

“Southern Comfort.” Ellis is back, he gives Bones his glass and subconsciously places a hand around Bones’ waist before pulling back slightly checking discretely for permission. Bones just smiles and settles back against Ellis’ comforting weight, and then he looks at Jim who has an eyebrow raised and so he frowns pointedly and sips at his Southern Comfort.

“Great to see you Garner.” Roger says, clasping Ellis’ un-preoccupied hand.

“Roger.” Ellis returns and then smiles warmly in Christine’s direction. “Nice to see you again, Christine.”

“I see you’re both having a good time.” Christine says looking from Ellis to Bones, clinking her glass with theirs.

“I think we are.” Ellis says, looking to Bones for confirmation.

“Of course we are.” Bones nods.

Jim disappears a bit after that and Bones feels himself constantly turning to him only to be reminded that Jim’s now absent, probably off with some floozy. He tries to give Ellis the majority of his attention, tries to be a good date but he finds himself missing Jim’s additions to conversation and thus begins adding Jim’s commentary in his head, at least he doesn’t end up laughing out loud at inappropriate times. But Ellis can obviously see he’s quite distracted.

“Is it more or less strange now that you’re out and about and have people looking at you questioningly?” Ellis asks, misreading the source of Bones’ unease. 

“I think people think I’m my sister.” Bones shrugs. “Not that I have a sister.”

“I keep trying to picture you as a man but I’m drawing a bit of a blank.” Ellis admits.

“I’m just hoping I don’t forget either.” Bones says. “I don’t want it to be too much of a shock to the system when I finally change back.”

“If.” Ellis says and then blushes. “Sorry. I just- Well I’m not a genetics expert but this seems quite the anomaly, are you sure you’ll be able to reverse it?”

“Honestly no. But I’m not sure I’m ready to admit defeat just yet.” Bones counters, keeping the huff out of his voice, just barely.

“Well there is a selfish part of me that wouldn’t be abject to you staying this way, you do make a wonderful woman.” Ellis smiles. Bones is not quite sure what to make of that compliment but he knows that somewhere inside he’s reeling from the man’s attentions and adorations. He’s not quite sure how he feels about _that_ either. He barely knows Ellis, and yes he’s a very attractive man in a variety of ways but this is _only_ a date. Like he’s told Jim, it isn’t a marriage proposal. Does Ellis really care about the long run? Does he have a right too?

Jim returns to say his goodbyes to the group, he has indeed found a floosy, she’s blonde and rather gorgeous, she is in possession of a slender, boyish frame that makes her look model worthy, all angles and points. Bones hasn’t found himself comparing his new body with other women’s, but he finds himself doing it now, she really is his polar opposite and for reasons he can’t quite explain it makes his heart sink slightly.

“Night then Jim.” Bones says when it’s his turn. Jim just nods, eyes somewhat sad and slips his hand into hers, pulling his newly acquired blonde in the direction of the door.

“Perhaps we should head off too?” Roger suggests to Christine. “We could give you both a ride home if you need it?” He looks from Ellis to Bones, who politely waits for Ellis to inform him that his hover is parked with the valet.

“It is getting late.” Ellis turns to Bones. “Would you like to head home?”

“Yes.” Bones nods. “Yes, I think I would.”

…

Bones invites Ellis back into the house with every intention of testing out his new body, still slightly annoyed at Jim for reasons unbeknownst to the general population, himself included, but hopeful that sex might dissipate these feelings. They don’t, the very pressure of lips against his is enough to set Bones’ nerves alight, and not in the good way. Ellis pulls away when he feels Bones shaking against him.

“This isn’t going to work is it?” He says gently, tucking a fallen curl back behind Bones’ ear.

“What?” Bones voice is soft, shaky in its attempt to convince Ellis to continue. “Don’t be silly, I’m fine.”

“I think there might be more huffing if you meant it.” Ellis smiles. “I’d like to stay friends Leo, regardless of your gender.”

“I’m sorry.” Bones says after a moment, conceding. “I really want to want to. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Hormones?” He shrugs with a small laugh.

“I don’t think I’m the right man for the job.” Ellis admits. “By your heart’s standard anyway. I would have liked to have given it a shot.” Bones nods and thinks of blue eyes and a coquettish smirk.

“Would you like more coffee? I really do enjoy your company.” Bones says, meaning it but feeling the compulsion to entertain start to leave him.

“I think I’ll give it a miss.” Ellis says. “We should do something later in the week, perhaps, I’m going off planet next month.” Bones nods and guides Ellis to the door, he gives him a quick kiss on the cheek, which is more heartfelt than their earlier make-out and turns to leave but then pauses suddenly, considering, before admitting: “I think he feels very much the same about you, you know.”

Bones just stands there, still thinking of Jim. Hoping it’s Jim who Ellis is talking about. Who else could it be? Oh God. _Oh God!_   Bones thinks. He’s turned into a woman and fallen for his best friend. His male, straight, Lothario best friend whose currently shaked up with some pretty young blonde thing. No. Bones thinks, and may or may not actually say aloud. It’s just hormones; just his biological changes making him go loopy. But thinking about Jim and that blonde in the throes of passion makes him so damn jealous, and sad, really sad. Bones pouts. Jim would do anything for him, Bones knows that. Is it wrong to abuse that knowledge and pull him away from a night of potential, no, _definite_ (this is Jim we’re talking about) sex just so that he can cry on that beautifully sculpted shoulder? Yes probably. Does hysterical Bones care? Most definitely not.

He dials Jim’s number on his comm and waits.

_Bones? Everything okay?_

Bones first thought is that Jim picked up his comm surprisingly quick if he’s _in flagrante_. And his second thought is that Jim doesn’t sound like he’s having sex. If they’re still talking then that means Jim want’s more than just sex from his blonde and that makes Bones feel really, _really_ guilty.

“I’m fine.” Bones says suddenly. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called, I’m being ridiculous. Too much bourbon.” He fakes a laugh. “I’ll speak to you tomorrow, have a nice evening.”

 _Bones, wait. Don’t hang up._ Then there’s a pause and Bones is just waiting. _You were drinking Southern Comfort and are not even nearly drunk enough to be being ridiculous. What gives? Did Garner try something? Do I need to hurt him?_

“No, no. He’s gone. He er, had to get going.” Bones says vaguely.

 _He_ left _? He left you? But you were all… and he was all…_

“You’re not here Jim I can’t see the hand movements.” Bones says but is quietly pleased by the implication.

_Are you okay? You want me to come over?_

“I don’t think your blonde will be happy if you up and leave her on my account Jim.” And Bones can’t help the huff that sinks into his voice.

 _Firstly, I took Janice and Angela home. Neither one could drive but insisted they be allowed to attempt procreation so I wished them well and left them to it._ Jim states. _Secondly, I would leave pretty much anyone on your account Bones, you know as long as it didn’t cause a planetary or diplomatic crisis._ _Thirdly I’m on my way over._

“Jim. You don’t have to come over, I really was being silly. I just–”

_Just what?_

“Just… Nothing. Jim please don’t leave your apartment.” Bones huffs.

_I’ve been driving over since you started talking about bourbon. It’s not like you to mix drinks or forget what you’ve been drinking. I was worried._

“Worried?” Bones asks, voice rising a pitch.

_Well I don’t know, Garner could have roofied you._

“I don’t think Ellis has it in him to roofy anyone.” Bones chuckles.

 _Well_ Ellis _was clinging onto you all night and I figured that he’d no doubt try something, I mean, did you see you tonight? You’re hot Bones. Makes sense that he’d want to f-_ sleep with _you._  

“Do you want to sleep with me?” Bones asks without thinking and then his eyes widen. “Oh god, forget I said that. I don’t even know what came over me, Ellis was sa–”

_Yes._

“Wait, _what_?” Bones questions.

_Oh God. Bones I… This is your fault you know. Strutting round in that white dress and the other night with all your giggly drunk nonsense._

“Giggly drunk nonsense?” Bones huffs. “I’m a doctor, dammit, not a go-go girl.”

 _You were talking about_ masturbating _and multiple orgasms. What did you hope my reaction would be?_

“You asked me to talk about it! Dammit.” Bones squawks. “I didn’t think you would have a _reaction_.”

 _I’m only a man, I’m not superhuman… And I’m outside._ He says the last sentence with less vigour and Bones pads towards the door, sans the awful heels that no person should have to endure.

“Hello Jim.” He says when he opens the door.

“Hey, Bones.” Jim returns. “You still got that ice cream?”

“Yeah. I banned myself from it for health reasons.” Bones admits. “It was becoming an issue.” And they both laugh, but the levity of their situation still hangs heavy.

“So.” Jim prompts. 

“Don’t, Jim. Let’s not do the awkward thing.” Bones huffs. “You really want to sleep with me?”

“Are you just trying to boost your ego?”  Jim asks, still smiling.

“No.” Bones pouts. “Nice to know I don’t look like a dragon, though.”

“Bones you were gorgeous as a man how would a gender change reduce you to a dragon?” Jim asks and then discretely blushes.

“Why did this happen to us?” Bones sighs. “I mean it could be really easy, we could just sleep together. It’s not the end of the world, right?”

“Right.” Jim says, uncertain.

“I mean, you’re probably the only man I trust this much. I evidently am not going to have any success with casual flings. You’re a good looking guy. You know what you’re doing…”

“Are you _nervous_ , Bones?” Jim asks, frowning.

“What?” Bones huffs. “No, of course not.”

“You _are_.” Jim states, realisation dawning.

“You’d be nervous if you had to lose your virginity all over again.” Bones pouts.

“I wasn’t nervous the first time round.” Jim says.

“You wouldn't be.” Bones rolls his eyes.

“You’re disappointment in me has less force as a woman.” Jim counters.

“Shut up.” Bones huffs.

“But you’re just as grouchy.” Jim sighs.

“If we sleep together it’ll get weird won’t it? Best friends don’t normally have sex.” Bones says after a while.

“But we might miss something good by letting nerves interfere.” Jim suggests.

“Is that Jim’s dick talking?” Bones laughs, throwing a gaze at Jim’s crotch.

“Maybe.” Jim shrugs. “I mean, you’ve thrown up on me and it’s not weird, sex isn’t the be all and end all.”

“Not for you, at least.” Bones scoffs.

“You wound me, Bonesy.” Jim says.

“You wound yourself.” Bones counters, pulling his hair out of its up-do, shaking his head and then scraping it all back into a high bun. Jim frowns and then sighs loudly, seemingly discontent and perhaps _confused_.

“Okay, the lips make sense, you’ve always had these big pouty lips but where did those cheekbones come from?” Jim demands with a frustrated huff.

“Are my cheekbones making you antsy Mr Kirk?” Bones smirks.

“If by antsy you mean sexually frustrated then yes, _Miss_ McCoy.” Jim jibes.

“Ooh. Low blow.” Bones counters. “This dress is starting to constrict my flow of oxygen so I’m gonna change, you want me to bring you out a t-shirt?”

“You’re going to undress to redress?” Jim asks.

“Yes, Jim.”

“No, Bones.” But Bones just struts into his bedroom, closing the door and potentially the invite into his bed.

Jim pads over to the breakfast counter and takes a seat on one of the stools, toying with the idea of pouring himself another tumbler of whiskey but quickly dismissing the idea. It’ll only hinder his chance with Bones, what’s left of his chance anyway. Jim does understand what Bones is saying, he really does and if man Bones liked guys then girl Bones will like guys too. Evidence: Ellis. But that begs the question as to why man Bones never said anything to Jim before this, maybe it is just his new found chemical balance. And what if Jim gets attached? Despite what people say about Jim Kirk he’s loyal and he keeps what’s his close, and if there is anything in the world that’s his, it’s Bones. But then what happens when Bones is back in his not so womanly form? Jim’s dabbled with a bit of everything but could he live out the rest of his life with a man? _I kinda already do,_ Jim thinks. They are co-dependent bastards that’s for sure. They do everything established couples do, just minus the sex. And there is nothing _just_ about sex.

Jim wants to have sex with Bones.

 _Jim wants to have sex with_ Bones.

Making this realisation on his own in the darkness of Bones’ kitchen is less axis-tilting than one would imagine. He still retains his wits enough that he catches the t-shirt flung at him, it’s Bones’ Ole Miss one, it really is his favourite. Jim smiles at that, all warm and chuffed inside. When he turns round to look at Bones he’s staring at Jim in an odd, assessing way, as if looking at Jim in a fresh light.

“I don’t think I would want it to just be sex.” Bones says, his voice rough even though an octave or two higher than Jim is used to. Jim swallows his immediate _there is nothing just about sex_ response and smiles.

“Good. That’s good. Because I was thinking about it and well, we’re practically an old married couple now aren’t we? We just miss out on all the sex. Sex is important to romantic endeavours and I don’t want you to feel conned.” Jim jokes with a small laugh that’s too marred by nerves to sooth Bones.

“Wanting sex _from_ me and wanting _me_ are two different things, Jim.” Bones says, clearly not wanting to be side-tracked into the world of Jim’s fantastic wit.

“I do want you Bones.” Jim admits. “Even when you’re back to normal.”

“You know if I trade in the breasts I’m probably going to get balls in return, right?” Bones says. “I hope.”

“I can handle balls.” Jim smirks.

“I bet you can.” Bones mutters.

“I think, if anything, your little XX trip has taught us that what’s on the outside doesn’t count for much and that maybe we can have fun either way.” Jim smiles. “It’s you Bones. I want to have sex with _you_.”

“Yeah Jim, so you’ve said and I–”

“No, you’re not listening. I want to have sex with _you_. _You_ Bones, gender regardless, it’s you. Doesn’t matter what package you come in. It’s nice that I’ll get to try both.” Jim grins. “I mean how many people can say they’ve had sex with their partner in both genders?”

“Partner?” Bones asks and winces at the sudden rabbit-in-headlights look that flits across Jim's face.

“Well boyfriend sounds silly doesn’t it? And I think you’ll castrate me if I say girlfriend.” Jim offers a crooked smile.

“Right on both accounts I guess.” Bones huffs a bit, raising an eyebrow. “You want to have sex with me?”

“And the rest.” Jim admits.

…

Jim kisses the neck his face is nestled against, moving carefully along the shoulder, stopping to kiss a love bite into a particularly sensitive spot that makes the body in his arms moan weakly. Bones is still shattered; they’ve only had about an hour or two of sleep. Jim is insatiable when he gets started. The first few times Bones was grateful, as was his newly formed anatomy but now he just aches. They’re both still in that state of sleepy limbo, not quite yet awake and not sure they want to be. Jim traces patterns into Bones’ ribs, hands opening and making their journey across Bones’ chest, gently grazing his nipples and dipping lower, down his abdomen, settling on his hips. Jim pulls Bones’ body back closer against him and Bones chuckles gently at the feel of his erection pressing against the cleft of his arse.

“Dammit, Jim.” His voice is rough with sleep but deep again, Jim notices that much. Jim more fully opens his eyes straining to see in the artificially dark room. It’s Bones, like, _real Bones,_ man Bones. Jim finds himself quietly relieved and is not as shocked by it as he had prepared himself to be, yes he loves the smooth curves of women but Bones’ skin is not any less smooth or warm and Jim finds the firmness of his body strangly comforting. Jim feels safe tucked up behind Bones, chin resting on his shoulder, he nips at Bones' shoulder and let’s his hands wander into unfamiliar territory, using Bones reinstated snail trail as a guide.

“Oh.” Bones says gently, obviously having realised he’s back in his body again. “Jim, you don’t h–”

“Shh.” Jim says, making sure his breath is strong enough to tickle Bones’ neck, Bones squirms but doesn’t pull away. He just let’s Jim find his bearings and set a languid pace. One that talks of security and ease. Once Bones has started to moan it makes it almost impossible for Jim to restrain himself from rutting up against him. Bones, irrespective of gender, sounds like a fucking porn star and he writhes like one too. It doesn’t take long before either man has come with hushed gasps and Jim finds himself uncaring about the mess they’ve made. Instead Jim kisses over Bones’ broad, muscled back, stopping every so often to lick a certain cluster of freckles.

“Do you think you’ll just have these unannounced episodes or do you think girl Bones was a one off?” Jim asks after a while.

“I have no idea.” Bones admits. “Will you miss her?”

“Bones you’re right here.” Jim smiles, folding himself into the side of Bones’ body.

“No more breasts though.” Bones states.

“These aren’t so bad.” Jim smirks running a hand over Bones’ pectoral muscle.

“Oh, you’re sure are you?” Bones huffs, badly trying to hide his smile. “Thanks ever so.”

“You’re welcome, Bonesy. Anytime.” Jim grins but feels overwhelmed with a warm giddiness and so presses his face into Bones’ shoulder to hide the flush rising up his cheeks.

“That smile is disconcerting, James.” Bones says. Jim isn’t sure if he’s used _James_ in retaliation to _Bonesy_ or whether it’s to make Jim blush more.

“I’m just…” And he shrugs, looking up at Bones from behind the cover of his bicep. “Happy, I guess.”

“Me too.” Bones says, pulling his arm away from Jim to wrap it around him instead. “Even with all of this craziness, I have you Jim and it makes it all okay. Man, woman, it doesn’t matter so long as you’re around.”

“I’m not going anywhere Bones.” Jim promises. “Double X or a Y or two, you’ll always be my Bones. I might draw the line a tentacles... but never say never I suppose.”

“ _Unbelievable_.” 


End file.
